Clinking bangles, sound of rhythmic dholak, singing voices, throaty laughs, blinding muli-colored lights , ear splitting music, conversations in hushed voices, gossiping out loud, people rushing here and there, flickering candles, whiff of festive food, decoration of marigold and the smell of henna...
Yes! a Rasm e Henna in its complete glory, attended by me recently. As I sat there without a company, my eyes were observing the crowd, my ears were picking up some words from the hushed conversations or lines from Bindaas gossiping & my lips were smiling in response to some constant weird stares and head to toe surveys by some strange aunties, I've never met or seen before.
Before the bride and groom entered into the ceremony, I had gained a whole truck of information that the girl sitting beside me has a very annoying and arrogant saas, how much one of the girls sitting behind me is suffering because of her broken long term engagement, how another girl from the back row got her perfect designer dress in an affordable price, how much the lady standing a little away from me is exhausted in search of chaand si bahoo, how much the aunty standing on my left is tired of her fasaadan daughter in law, how another girl from back row never liked the bride and didn't wanted to attend the ceremony but her parents made her to do so...and the list goes on.
As I was cursing my ears for being too sharp and not having a special button to mute the voices, there came the beautiful bride and the good looking groom, with some family members holding a dupatta over them, some close friends carrying the beautiful decorated plates, rest of relatives and friends doing bhangra on the beat of dhol. As they were all settled down on the magnificently decorated stage, the converstaions and gossiping has taken a new turn around me like how much Jaahaiz has been given, how many demands were made by the groom's family, how much bride's parents were worried when there weren't getting suitable proposals for their daughter, how can a plain looking girl like bride can get a rishta so nice, how much the bride's parents are spending on the wedding, how someone has heard from somewhere that all the dresses of bride are purchased by some famous designer, how groom's mother look so cunning,the bride is looking so over confident, how the groom's beautiful elder sister got divorced last year.. it was endless.
I went to the stage and waited in long line for my turn to wish & compliment the couple for their new life and how nice they look together. After doing so, I found a deserted corner where i couldn't hear any rude, dripping with jealousy & senseless comments anymore.
Why, came in my mind, people just can't be happy for someone who is getting married to a nice guy from a decent family, why can't they just leave those alone who are happy, why they can't just wish someone happiness, if they can't have it themselves? Why can't they just avoid the information which is non of their business? Why they can't see the positive side? How can you say or disscuss this about someone when you don't want someone else to say or dissucss the same about you? Why they even bother to attend the ceremony if they can't say a few sincere words?
I couldn't get that look out of mind, the bride had in her eyes when she was watching her friends and family, performing rasms, dancing and singing. I somehow recognized that look, it had the longing for the days when she used to have fun on other people's wedding, it had the fear of the unknown, her upcoming life, it had that happiness to see all of her friends & relatives that came to take part in her wedding celebrations, the way she was thanking everyone for coming, when they were wishing and complimenting her. No one can understand her feelings, not even me...
Same for her parents, they were greeting everyone with smile but there was a clear worried look in their eyes, hoping and praying inside that everything goes fine. It doesn't matter that how much they had spent on the wedding expenditures, how many demand thay had fulfilled of the groom's family or how long they waited for the suitable proposal, in the end its all about the their daughter's happiness and life. How one rude comment or conversation can ruin their bliss & satisfaction of fulfulling their responsibilty so generously towards their daughter.
But no one understands... No one cares..
People have time for gossiping, highlighting the negative points, rude comments, breaking hearts, being jealous, but not for appreciating, understanding the situation or effort being made, what lies beyond looks, the postitive sides and the main thing which matters, the inner satisfaction.
But this is going on from ages and happens everywhere.
All I could do was to avoid being part of the gossiping crowd, give my sincere best wishes to the couple, appreciate her parents and siblings efforts on fulfilling their responsibilty so graciously & praying silently in my heart that Allah always keep them happy and healthy.. Ameen
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